Every single year for the entirety of advent, every single music channel is plagued with b-list celebrities spouting out the same boringly canonical Top 20/30/40 Christmas/Xmas/Festive Hits/Tunes/Number 1s/Crackers/Party Starters EVER! Whilst it may be dull, there are gems to be found in there - the Seventies offers Wizzard and Slade, the Eighties comes up with Wham! and the Pogues, whilst the Nineties provides Mariah Carey’s classic All I Want For Christmas Is You. But from the last ten years, there are depressingly few songs, with the majority being either hideously unfunny comedy efforts - Proper Crim-bo! by Avid Merrion, or the Cheeky Girls’ Have A Cheeky Christmas, or those songs that have painfully little to do with Christmas, for example S Club 7’s Never Had A Dream Come True. In fact, the only song of our times that comes through these lists with any credit is the Darkness’ Christmas Time (Don’t Let The Bells End).

Yet even that song was beaten to the Christmas #1, by the most un-Christmassy song ever, a depressing Gary Jules cover of the Tears For Fears classic Mad World, a Samaritans-phone call inducing misery-filled four minutes. Yet compare that to the Darkness song, which had everything you could want from a potential Christmas #1 - yes it was cheesy, but it was fun, entertaining, and actually a decent tune. But when even a song as perfect for the festive top spot is beaten away, it begs the question, is there still a place for the Christmas song?

It’s been so long since a Christmas song reached the top spot (1990’s Saviours Day by Cliff Richard being the last non-charity Christmas song to get there), and it seems that music has moved on to a new means of finding a Christmas #1 - the X Factor.

The race for this position is now non-existent, with each of the last three festive chart-toppers being winners of the talent show, with this year’s victor Alexandra Burke’s rendition of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah a certainty to continue the tradition. No longer do we witness any Slade vs Wizzard or Take That vs Mr Blobby battles for #1 - bookies refuse to take bets on who’ll reach the top spot, such is the extent of The X Factor’s monopoly. Yet we don’t even produce any just challengers - this year’s best bet of a Christmas song getting to the top spot in time for December 25th is the Wombats’ Is This Christmas - and that’s bloody terrible!

The Christmas song, as sad as it may be, is dead, with our disposable reality-TV culture sapping out all sense of fun or occasion from the battle. So unfortunately, it looks like this year the only music we’ll be “hanging up our stockings on the wall” to will be from quite some time ago. Never mind. It’s chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistmas - just don’t expect any great new songs as a present.

Despite sounding convincingly like a duo they are actually a five piece, all hailing from London. Formed earlier this year they have already developed a mature sound and completed tours with Cheeky Cheeky And The Nosebleeds, I Was A Cubscout, Golden Silvers, and Pete And The Pirates. Life-long Beatles fans they also claim to be influenced by My Bloody Valentine, Sonic Youth, the Dandy Warhols and the Velvets. As the latest proteges of Chess Club Records their debut single Just Like A Silhouette is slowly but surely beginning to stir up interest from within the industry.

The song combines deliciously melancholy boy/girl harmonies with a twinkling guitar line that is reminiscent of the opening of Bloc Party’s So Here We Are. B-side Clouds is even more hushed and wistful, a touching acoustic number that focuses on Pete’s whispery vocals. Their songs are simple not showy, each one a perfect bubble of bittersweet pop. Other tracks off their EP, which they produced 200 hand-made copies of earlier this year, reveal another, less saccharine, side. Weightless is vaguely Pavement-esque with its sweet, sombre melody underpinned by subtle clashes in the instrumental harmonies. Ruins encapsulates the end of a day and more importantly the end of a relationship. “I know all I did was disappoint you”, again melancholy musings are accompanied by beautiful, bare and understated instrumental lines. These touchingly honest songs go hand in hand with lazy Sunday afternoons or reflective moments during solitary, winter walks. Their name says it all really. If love is a game, they are definitely on the wrong team.

Well, now you’ve been introduced all that’s left is for you to fall in love with Exlovers just by shutting your eyes and hitting repeat.

#1: Omaha, Nebraska

A lot of beautiful art and music is made there and it is home to some lovely people who helped to make the album what it is. It’s a wonderful town and worth a visit. Bring plenty of layers for the winter and a well of water for the summer!

#2: Weather

I hadn’t ever experienced snow or heat like I did last year in Omaha and I think it played some part in the thinking behind the album. The change of seasons there is something special.

#3: Mix Tapes

I was listening to a lot of music at the time, most of it has become my favourite music. A friend made a mix tape which kept me good company too - it had on it some real treasures; T-Rex, Sam Cooke, Neil Young, his own band Neva Dinova (tremendous) and this one song in particular - Madonna Of The Wasps by Robyn Hitchcock. I never got bored of that song. Day in, day out.

#4: Reading

I read a few lovely books - The Prophet by Khalil Gibran, The Magic Toyshop by Angela Carter and The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood.

#5: America

I was lucky that just before starting the album I’d been travelling with my family around the states. We made visits to friends on the east and west coasts and it set us all in a good frame of mind. There is something amazing music being made in that country. I met Magic Magic and Coal Beautiere during that trip and I held, and still hold, their music very close.

Music to throw yourself around to, with entertainment through these ladies’ unwavering confidence and some bizarre looking displays of clothing. They all wear leotard-esque togs, not only do they look comfortable - showing these girls aren’t just pretty faces - but their attires also seem to be able to enable them to pull of some serious jumping around.

Their musical ability is what is really important, being a girl group who aren’t about to start gyrating at you singing about how when they grow up they would like boobies. Whilst they aren’t doing that they are playing instruments and singing, whilst hitting those electro beats - their gyrated dance moves sync in time with the sharp robotic sounds of their synthesized beats.

These girls have joined the electro pop wave circa early 1980s with its dance beats featuring heavy song writing over the top. Kraftwerk and Hot Chip may have been the bands to really bring it into current day musical consciousness, but these women are becoming a part of something new within electro pop, fem-pop, aptly named by NME when described as: “Almighty fem-pop delivered with an eccentric blitzkrieg wallop.”

These girls are going to get there, and they are going to deserve every single last bit of positive attention they receive along the way. Last year they were already signed up to play Lovebox, Wireless, and Creamfields festivals to name but a few. 2009 is going to be the year for a fem-pop revolution - real girls, singing about real things, playing real instruments, with the bolshie attitude that our ancestors fought for us to express. The RGBs are going to be a part of this, at the front, standing tall with their Lycra. I can feel it.

Literally weeks before Beat Dyslexia was set to hit the shelves, in a complicated number of problems with their label, the album was pulled and the band were told it would not see a release, that was in 2007 and it still hasn’t. A few select offerings from Beat Dyslexia could be heard on the band’s Myspace, including a newer, heavier-sounding Robert Redford from Soda Lake, but this clearly isn’t enough. A few copies of the album were sold by the band directly and it can be found if you look hard enough elsewhere, just don’t bother with eBay or Amazon, this album has never been listed on either site.

I found my copy randomly in a Record & Tape Exchange in Notting Hill. I remember the closure, the feeling of joy at picking this out of the rack. I may have actually said “the search is over” at some point in that day. But needless to say, I’d been looking very hard for this album for a very long time and to finally have a physical copy in my hands was rather amazing.

Upon arriving home I literally couldn’t wait to get this inanimate disc of plastic into my CD player and since that day I probably haven’t gone a week without listening to it. The atmospheric feedback of Children vs. Ghosts is the perfect opening to Beat Dyslexia, a four minute haze of distorted insanity which leads gracefully into the pure pop feel of Children Know The Score. The one thing that stands out above all on first impressions with the first few tracks is the production: where Soda Lake would sometimes lack the power it needed to make certain drops and sections sound as massive as they should be, Beat Dyslexia is simply amazing. Bass that smashes you in the face and drumming that makes you feel tired just listening to it, all backed up by screaming guitars and awesome dual vocals.

Other choice selections such as Brind’Amour, Wolf In The Delivery Room, and of course Robert Redford, are all simply incredible. The real treat of Beat Dyslexia is without doubt the awe-inspiring and brilliantly named What The M.I.L.F. They somehow manage to squeeze more drops than is humanly possible into this five-minute epic that sounds like more of a full body workout than a track. By this point you start to realise the diversity this group had - they could be pop, indie, or straightforward hardcore and they manage to pull it all off in one album without sounding like they’re trying too hard in the slightest.

Following the pulling of Beat Dyslexia, Distophia called it a day and have since started a new band (who are also pretty good) named Calories. As much as people still cry out for its release, it’s likely that this album will never be in a record store near you. This, sadly, is the more disheartening side of the music industry, the side that can make some people give up all together and wonder what the point of it all was. When listening to bands like Johnny Foreigner and Los Campesinos! it’s pretty clear that they’re Distophia fans. If you ever manage to get hold of a copy of Beat Dyslexia, the greatest album to never see the light of day, then you really are in for something a little bit special

Tracklisting

1 Children Vs Ghosts
2 Children Know The Score
3 Brind’Amour
4 Princeton T Porpoise
5 Starvation Cove
6 Robert Redford
7 Wolf In The Delivery Room
8 Children Vs Skellingtons
9 Evil Baroness. Evil Baroness.
10 What The M.I.L.F
11 Blue Shins
12 Thug Passion
13 Street Granddad Perie

Twisted Wheel’s sound is, on the face of it, not the most original in the world. The shouty vocals, spiky guitars, bash-it-out drum beats and visceral basslines have the authentic taste and smell of 1976 punk, and they’re certainly not the only band around that’s revamping the old new wave for today’s audience. What makes Twisted Wheel stand out, though, is some impressive musicianship and a boatload of attitude. Plus, of course, a great little bunch of songs – She’s A Weapon, You Stole The Sun and Circus are all recommended listening. All these elements combined make Twisted Wheel’s stage performance a compelling proposition, whether or not you’ve heard any of their material before.

The band’s latest single is Lucy The Castle, a straightforward rocker with a delicious guitar solo and just a hint of the Ramones about it. This is the first release from a planned debut album – due in early 2009. If this track’s anything to go by, it should be good stuff.

Two years ago the self proclaimed fight-pop group had the kind of launching platform most bands in there position could only dream of, a spectacular single in the shape of forever fan favourite Totally Bone and the backing of pretty much every area of the alternative press. After a few line-up shuffles and tours with Foals and Johnny Foreigner to name a few, 2008 has seen the band release their debut EP Sissy Hits and receive the widespread acclaim they deserve.

In a time when music and in particular music fans are stuck in the everlasting rut of taking themselves far too seriously, Dananananaykroyd are the perfect remedy, their incredible live shows rarely see a single person leaving the venue without a grin that could stretch back to the band’s homeland. Now infamous crowd participation events such as the wall of cuddles (think the hardcore wall of death but with more affection) and the tunnel of love (a LEGALLY binding contract which sees a tunnel of hands made only for everyone to then pile in two by two) make you remember why you fell in love with live music. A friend of mine who is commonly known amongst our group as the most cynical music fan in the world managed to stand arms folded for a full five minutes at one of their recent performances before clapping and hugging along like a nine year old girl at a Justin Timberlake show.

If 2008 was the year for Foals then 2009 will surely be the year for Dananananaykroyd. Having recently completed work on their highly anticipated debut album Hey Everyone with Grammy nominated producer Machine (Lamb Of God, Every Time I Die) the band look set to unleash their unique brand of fun loving post-hardcore to the masses. Reading about bands with a similarly fun ethos there’s usually a witty one liner like “not one for the cynics” tagged on the end, but with Dananananaykroyd I think the only appropriate thing to add to this is that, well, they’re not one for no-one.

After separating with long time collaborator, Bob Rock, who was involved in the bands last nine projects and with this blaring advert for their sulky adolescent rock star personas who would want to step into the breech to put the pieces back together? Former collaborator Anthony Keidis of Red Hot Chilli Peppers describes the man for the job best when saying:

“If Baron Von Munchausen were able to ejaculate the Red Hot Chili Peppers onto a chess board, Rick Rubin would be the perfect player for that game.”

Ask ardent music fans who they would pick to spend studio time with their favourite band and Frederick Jay ‘Rick’ Rubin comes high on the list, having had his mixing finger in some of the most commercial success stories in the second half of the Twentieth Century. Hitting Grammy gold in 2007 for his involvement with country darling’s, The Dixie Chicks, and the final instalment of the Johnny Cash America Series, mainstream America finally sat up and took notice. As co-owner of the monolithic Hip Hop label, Def Jam, and the man who took Jay-Z global with 99 Problems, he even resurrected the career of Neil Diamond this year with Home Before Dark. With all this under his belt working with the biggest rock group in the world and their tempers would be less than a challenge.

Like Phil Spector’s Wall Of Sound in the 1960’s, Rubin imposed his own style and sound upon recording sessions, adopting a Confusion standpoint of less is more. He stripped out backing vocals and string sections, whilst leaving the band to work things out for themselves and despite some complaints about the sound quality and some leaked content the band are content.

The album was complete in August this year following fifteen months in the studio, usually without the Rubin present. Communicating with the band by conference call mainly, Rubin seems more like a man manager than a producer, but his style always gleams the best of an artists character, leading guitarist Kirk Hammett to comment, “The great thing about working with Rick is he’s never around.”

Ensuring the group was prepared with pre-written material before taking to the studio demonstrates Rubin’s straight forward approach and sparked a return to Hetfield’s personal songwriting style; another reason for the albums success. The theme of death features heavily on the record and was inspired by conversations between Hetfield and Hammett over the tragic loss of Alice In Chain’s frontman Layne Staley, who died in 2002 of a drug overdose. The track Shine is about the martyrdom of the rock star and spiraled into a general theme on the album that spawned the working title Songs Of Suicide And Forgiveness.

Letting artists off the leash seems to be an unusual technique for producers and the question must be asked whether he has the magic touch or is he just good at breaking bands out of some bad habits. Either way with a hits machine as long as his beard, he certainly lives up to the title Hetfield bestowed upon him, The Song Doctor, and with surgery currently underway on beardy-wierdies ZZ Top, we all await the results in 2009.

Although their music is heavily influenced by the legendary bands of the 1960s Merseybeat and R’n’B scene, they aren’t simply a bunch of 60s throwbacks with no originality. Their music is legitimate, high-octane stuff that will have you dancing round your living room like your pants have caught fire before you can say “toppermost of the poppermost!”. Just check out the ridiculously infectious ‘Little Louisa’ if you don’t believe me!

Their debut album, ‘Black & White’, has sold over 4,000 copies in the last 12 months, which is pretty good going for an unsigned band. Their latest album, ‘Run & Hide’, is available for download now and will soon be available as a physical purchase, keep an eye on their website for further details of that. All the cool kids these days are checking them out and loving them – our beloved TMM readers really shouldn’t be left behind…

I asked The Fore’s bassist, frontman and Obligatory Tall Person, Spencer Hannabuss, to have the last word on why everyone should be adding The Fore’s music to their record collection. He happily obliged with the following:

”Quite simply, there is no other act like us in today’s music scene. There is a definitely retro 60’s tinged feel coming back to music at the moment, but no bands are filling that void. We write great songs that anyone can relate to. It’s not shoe gazing music; it’s upbeat, feel-good stuff and that’s not a bad thing.”

I’m starting to think that it’s only pussies like this that are capable of continued appreciation towards My Bloody Valentine.

For me a long relationship really holds little to no pros, other then the fact that you are entitled to constant sexual activities from the other person, but even that assumption has been debunked by countless studies that shows us sex dwindles relentlessly in nearly all marriages, maybe not to the point of a twelve year hiatus, but it does become the exception and not the rule, this much is pretty much a constant (just one more piece of evidence that supports my theory that people aren’t inherently designed for such commitments). Having said that, it’d be unfathomable for me to go a month within a marriage without sex, but twelve years? There’s patience, and then there’s just being a spineless wimp, and I think you’re crossing that line right around the two months periods without sex and sans immediate, drastic action.

It goes without a doubt that this piece of shit is a worthless loser, willing to suppress a basic human right in the name of complacency, but there’s a bigger issue here. What is the statute of limitations on the impact of one monumentally great event before we’re entitled to something more? It’s hard to put a number on it, but for the sake of this piece, let’s settle on seventeen.

Seventeen years. That’s the time between My Bloody Valentine’s seminal ‘Loveless’ album and the current day. During that period, we saw Kevin Shields (who does represent another one of those “one man projects”, much like Robert Pollard is Guided By Voices and Trent Reznor is Nine Inch Nails, except these two guys still make music) contribute exactly one new song, and it wasn’t even really his song, just covering the Wire song ‘Map Ref. 41N 93W’ for a Wire tribute album. It wasn’t that great of a cover, just adding a lot of fuzziness to the original, but truth be told, I really wouldn’t care how good it was, considering you know, it’s just one cover song.

In this extended hiatus (and I’m using that term in the loosest sense possible), this is the only new music released from the band. So how did Shields keep busy you ask? Don’t bother, it’s just a bunch of meaningless stuff that really amounts to nothing other then helping his name stay around. Specifically he played guitar sparingly for Primal Scream, contributed some score material to the Sofia Coppola movie Lost In Translation, and lastly (and probably least importantly), co-produced an entirely forgettable Dinosaur Jr. album.

Skip ahead to the present day, and that analysis requires no updating, no alterations. That pathetic examination of extreme inactivity is still accurate, yet now they are STILL being talked about, simply because a) they played a handful of prestigious reunion shows, namely headlining Coachella, Roskilde, and All Tomorrow’s Parties, playing, you guessed it, ‘Loveless’ in its entirety, and b) there are some reports on a follow-up being in the band’s near future, but if ‘Chinese Democracy’ has taught us anything… well more on that later.

For the record, Shields has spoken on his behalf, trying to justify the lull of most epic proportions.

“Too often when people make good records, there’s an aftershock effect, and they collapse psychologically and emotionally. Brian Wilson is a classic case of that. I’m trying to prove that you can make genuinely interesting music and come out with new ideas without an emotional drain to the point where you break down. I could make another record that would top the others we’ve made - I’ve been ready to for a while now - but to me it’s extremely important to make that record in such a way that I’ll be able to make another one. For lots of small, petty human reasons I won’t go into, I’d like to be around in five years time, making better and better records”.

Yeah, pretty sure that quote lost all credibility at the millennial mark. Now we’re left with no choice but to group the group in with the drama associated with ‘Chinese Democracy’, but hey, even that homophobic snotrag finally got his shit together and we are faced with the terrifying concept of a new Guns n’ Roses album, which leaves the follow-up to ‘Loveless’ without equal in terms of absurdity in the name of unacceptable prolonged absences.

What makes all of this even more frustrating, is many consider ‘Loveless’ the best album of the nineties. Not me, sonically it was obviously very groundbreaking, but I could never hold something which is essentially a “mood album” among the very best of that great decade. Having said that, I’m not here to debate the merits of ‘Loveless’, it’s obviously a pretty tremendous record if it has carried the band this far without any further contributions from the band, but I am going to do what I’ve seen really nobody else do, and that’s hold Mr. Shields totally and utterly accountable for nearly two decades of indolence. Hell, I could have written this after the first ten years but what the fuck, I gave him another eight years grace. Enough is enough though, seriously.

Shields says to him, making great music is about capturing a moment when you feel inspired, and making music around that flash of profound insight. Fair enough, but you mean to tell me you haven’t been inspired in seventeen years? That tells me you’re in the wrong business. Maybe you should be working for the US.Postal Service or something. I’m starting to think Shields has more in common with Bukowski’s alter ego Harry Chinaski then Brian Wilson. At least Chinaski put his apathy to use and serviced the community through mail organization/deliveries. Shields just took enough space, not a ton, but intentionally just enough to be discussed and revered. It actually pisses me off I even have to write about someone so absurdly irrelevant in terms of the recent music scene, especially because I think I’m probably doing him a favour by getting this published.

Recently, Shields has claimed the band is working on new material, and also stated that the material he recorded in 1996/97 is actually a lot better then he remembered it being. What all this translates into, is he’s just digging up old stuff for inclusion on a new MBV studio release, and what that translates into, is Shields is still plumb-fuck out of ideas. That’s his right, there’s a lot of bands that have released one great record then faded into obscurity, but there’s the tricky part, somewhere between where Shields is at and oblivion where all those other one-trick ponies now reside. If he doesn’t want to do shit all with his musical career and rest on the laurels of ‘Loveless’, I really don’t care, and am still grateful for his one contribution that we are still feeling the effects of today.

However, the current importance of My Bloody Valentine is marginal at best, and I just wish he could do us a single favour for once, and just give his fans some of that indifference he seems have no shortage of. Maybe then his fans will finally stop caring, and give the band what they truly deserve.

Having taken on the task of top tenning, I realise I’ve opened myself to a lot of criticism, but there you go, it should cause some interesting debate. So without further ado, here are the 10 best tracks of the last 12 months. Let the backlash commence…

10/ Vampire Weekend - Oxford Comma
Vampire Weekend were a breath of fresh air in 2008, with their preppy-afro rock something completely different to pretty much anything else on the indie scene. Oxford Comma typified this. A song about a linguistic abnormality taking on a deeper significance, with a half-arsed yet brilliant guitar solo and that almightily catchy hook meant this signalled the arrival of a very important act. “Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?” Ezra Koenig asks again and again - the answer is anyone who gives a fuck about music.

9/ Jack White and Alicia Keys - Another Way To Die
After a couple of duds in recent years (Madonna and Chris Cornell- seriously?), the Bond theme was back in business with the first ever duet to take on the task of giving cinema’s most famous opening sequence a soundtrack. ‘Another Way To Die’ was a cataclysmic orgy of strings, drums and a desperate duet chorus, a bubbling cauldron of sexual chemistry, with Jack White displaying he still is capable of moments of genius. It was a thunderous rock’n'roll bitch of a theme tune and one worthy of the name of 007.

8/ Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl
Worthy of inclusion for its sheer ubiquity during summer. No matter if you loved or hated this song, barring space travel there was no escape from this song, as it held to number 1 for a mammoth five weeks. And it deserved its place too, in all its bubblegum pop glory. Perry’s “don’t give a fuck” attitude, be it artificial or not, was something different, and it transcended to a stomping club-beat of a verse before the chorus’ cry of “I kissed a girl and I liked it” making pubescent boys go weak at the knees, whilst infuriating Daily Mail readers and religious types alike. Any track which evokes two such reactions is worthy of a mention- the fact that it was a slice of pop-rock exuberance was a bonus.

7/ Keane - Spiralling
This wasn’t just progression, this was reinvention. For a band famed for piano-pop ballads, this 80s-influenced electro track well and truly represented a brave new step into the relative unknown. And it paid off, with ‘Spiralling’ one of the best things that Tom Chaplin’s lot have ever produced. The eighties revival was in full flow, the track an amalgamation of synth, guitar and Chaplin’s haunting rasp of a voice. Even the uber-cheesy spoken word interlude “did you wanna be president?” couldn’t take anything away from this solid-gold track, which well and truly signalled Keane’s return to form.

6/ The Last Shadow Puppets - Standing Next To Me
Miles Kane and Alex Turner swapped their skinny-jeans for polo necks and sunglasses under the moniker of The Last Shadow Puppets. ‘Standing Next To Me’ was the highlight of the project, a Scott Walker influenced doo-wop pop track. Layered in strings, Kane takes the lead vocal, before a soaring duet chorus of “and your love, is standing next to me”. It’s not hard to see why they close with this at live shows - two and a half minutes of crooning pop, before a crescendo of strings, and finally a sudden, crashing stop - simply mesmeric.

5/ MGMT - Time To Pretend
Andrew VanWyngarden and Ben Goldwasser may both have hilarious names, but in 2008 they produced the teen anthem of the year. The bleary-eyed stoner vocal cooing over the catchiest intro ever (if you don’t know/can’t hum it, you’re out of touch) was elevated to legendary status among those crazy kids when it was used in the series finale of Skins. After an showing at pretty much every big festival over summer it became one of the anthems of the season, every word of every performance screeched back with ferocity. It was a simply massive track.

4/ Hot Chip - Ready For The Floor
“Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it now / say it, say it, say it, say it, say it, say it, say it now” Alexis Taylor warbled like the bespectacled nerd-rock Christ. With the lead single of their ‘Made in the Dark’ album, Hot Chip managed to find a medium that appealed both to art-school serious types and the lager lout crowd. Whilst not quite reaching the standard they set with the incredible ‘Over And Over’, they’re not that far off. ‘Ready For The Floor’ unleashed a torrent of a chorus, with the clunky-yet-funky synth overlay forming the outline of the techno hit of 2008. Hot Chip proved themselves to be “number-one guys”.

3/ Bloc Party - Flux
Ha! Having the countdown go back to November was worth it! Bloc Party gave the first hint of their new dance direction with ‘Flux’ - a crunching, biting electro flux, with lovelorn lyrics, so sincere that it seems out of place - “we were hoping for some romance, all we found was more despair” - but somehow it worked - it was a monumental effects-laden behemoth of a chorus. The rising bridge of “state of flux, state of flux…”, leads to Kele Okereke’s simply massive vocal as he cried “we need to talk” over a mish mash of keys. It provided Bloc Party with a link into the mainstream and a simply legendary live moment, with the laser show for the track forming a highlight of their triumphant headline slot at Connect Festival. It was the best thing they’d done since ‘Helicopter’ boosted their music to stratospheric levels leaving the rest of their indie peers for dead on Planet Dull.

2/ Glasvegas - Daddy’s Gone
Glasvegas pretty much single-handedly rescued British guitar music from the abyss in 2008, with their doom and gloom infiltrating the charts, and the ears, of the masses. But to every song there was an unequivocal and beautiful meaning. ‘Daddy’s Gone’ is the epitome of that. So rarely is the bond between a departed father and his son touched in any form of art, yet alone rock music, that this was just completely different to anything else. James Allan’s thick Glaswegian accent punctuated every syllable over a slow-burning drum beat, and a Spector-esque wall of sound. But the lyrics set this song apart from pretty much everything else, with the heartbreaking reminiscing of “times when you’d put us on your shoulders, how I wished it was forever you would hold us”, all building up to the brutal, beautiful, spellbinding closing cries of “he’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone, oh-oh-oh-ooh”. This was a song that proved music to be indiscriminate with the ability to touch anyone and everyone. And whilst it may sound hyperbolic, it bordered on perfection. Complete excellence.

1/ Elbow - One Day Like This
Pretty much any other year, ‘Daddy’s Gone’ would be the song of the year by a long way. But in 2008, Elbow not only released the song of the year, but one of the best songs of the last 10 years - “One Day Like This” is nothing short of a masterpiece. From the first moments of the beautiful strings intro, the song soared elevating itself over every other indie song the British Isles has produced in a long time. Then Guy Garvey’s vocal kicked in, a thick Bury accent that was enveloped by the violins to beautiful effect, with sumptuous lyrics such as “what made me behave that way, using words I never say?” transcending time, trend and genre - it’s just complete magnificence. After a constant build up, the song climaxed with the ensemble chorus, a gorgeously worded refrain of “throw those curtains wide, one day like this a year would see me right” - it’s truly life affirming stuff, a terrace anthem for lovers and poets. It was sweeping, orchestral, magnificence - and in an industry where the key themes are either gloom, or radio-friendly-pop this was something different - just sheer unadulterated joy, a true classic of an indie song, and the best song of the last 12 months and beyond.

Disagree with us? Is there anything we’ve missed out? What would make your top 10 songs of the past year (remember, remember, November to November)?

Nathan’s music encapsulates what was a perfect era in musical history – from the late 1950s/early 60s doo-wop to late 1960s psychedelia and prog-rock, and most genres in between. His songwriting range even stretches to a few none-too-subtle salutes to the pint-sized principal of pop himself – Prince.

It’s not just Nathan’s considerable musical talent that sets him apart from the crowd. His songs are a perfect retelling of the agonies and frustrations of unrequited love, the breakdown of a relationship – and the perils of working in your dad’s hardware shop – all blended together with a generous dose of humour. Rather than the comedy aspect of his songwriting discrediting his material into a sort of novelty act, the humour tends to both emphasise and temper the melancholic side of his lyrics, an example being the haunting ‘I Don’t Wanna Surf Alone’ from the ‘Maximum NPP’ album.

Nathan has recently signed to indie label Mile High Music and his fifth album - or his debut album proper if we’re going to get technical about it - ‘Since 1978’, is due for release in mainstream record stores on 24 November this year and is already available for download from the usual sources.

The great thing about Nathan’s music is that, no matter what sort of day you’re having, no matter how ticked off, angry, sad, depressed or generally unhappy you may be with your life – the moment you start to play one of his songs, a beaming smile seems to pervade your face almost against your will and before you know it your mood is truly lifted. Nathan’s music is the perfect anti-depressant and an embodiment of what music can and should be all about – entertainment.

By the time I added ‘Trouble At The Henhouse’ and ‘Day For Night’ to my collection, I was completely obsessed with The Tragically Hip. Every song is meticulously crafted and has a story to tell. Lead singer Gorden Downie brings such a passion and energy to the lyrics through his compelling vocals that he is often compared to Michael Stipe. Guitarists Rob Baker and Paul Langlois are massively underrated and can always be relied upon to deliver; the whole band have a dynamic that shines through in their songs.

Even after the initial massive success of ‘Fully Completely’ and subsequent albums such as ‘Music@Work’ and the utterly brilliant ‘In Violet Light’, The Tragically Hip has never become a world-wide name. Even though they are huge in Canada, they never made it in the US and have more of a following in the UK. It is incredibly frustrating when you hear of a new number one single and you can pick any song from five or six albums that are infinitely better. And hardly anyone has heard them. That is the way the music industry works these days. But as long as these supreme Canadian poets continue to write songs The Tragically Hip will always be one of my favourite bands.

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Video: The Tragically Hip - ‘Yer Not The Ocean’

The band consists of Chris Catalyst (Vocals/Guitar/Keys), Davros (Guitar/Vocals), Steve Morricone (Bass/Vocals), and Wayne Insane (Drums). You may recognise Chris Catalyst from his days in The Sisters of Mercy, or perhaps Antiproduct. However in Eureka Machines he comes to the forefront and is very much the brains behind the band – as well as one of the nicest, most genuine people in music. Certainly the man’s head is a thing of awe, with a perfect Mohawk and a pair of amazing side-burns attached, but it’s what’s inside it that really is of interest. ‘Do Or Die’ consists of 11 pure pop gems that defy negativity, apathy and indifference.

When talking about what the future holds for Eureka Machines, Chris joked:

“I’d like to suggest world domination and hit records all over the world, but I’d imagine bankruptcy, sweat, weight loss and wrinkles will figure reasonably heavily. We’re not doing this to be the biggest band in the world; we’re doing this to be the best band in the world - the latter being very different from the former. We’ll do a bunch more gigs and make a load of new friends.”

Certainly, with their frankly incredible live shows and one remarkable album already under their belts, it would almost be a travesty for Eureka Machines to not become the biggest band in the world as well; but as with most things in the music industry, only time will tell.

I’d like to leave this feature in the very capable of hands of Chris Catalyst, and why he personally thinks that the world needs to hear about Eureka Machines:

“We live on a planet so full of entertainment that people forget what its purpose is - to entertain. Not to remind yourself of the working week. Or to make you watch other people like you doing the things you do in a slightly different manner. Or to watch the grotesque unfolding of someone’s life in front of them, like Kerry Katona on the telly this morning.

“We’re a bunch of born show-offs, who’ve honed our trade over the years in the best possible way, and now it’s time to put all of that together to show people it’s possible to have fun without being totally stupid, and that there are people out there who can enjoy themselves without resorting to addiction, violence or crime. Positivity should always beat negativity, but it seems that a lot of the population have forgotten that.

“Besides, it beats watching Jeremy Kyle all day.”

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Video: Eureka Machines - ‘Everyone Loves You’

Answer: He holds the bulb in the socket and the world revolves around him.

That’s an oldie, but a goodie. I love to tell this joke to scowling U2 fans, but the more I think about it, the more I realize Bono’s god complex might not be as prevailing as us mere mortals may be inclined to believe, at least not musically. If he truly places himself high atop Mount Olympus, then we wouldn’t see such cowardice following experimental studio releases that don’t quite work out. Maybe the impossible is possible, and Bono does care what us philistines think of his musical output.

You might think I’m saying that in a complimentary manner, but it’s more of an embittered confusion permeating throughout that last sentence then anything. A part of me says, “Yeah, it’s cool he’s still making an effort to appease his fans”, but a bigger part of me want to choke his chicken neck and scream “Who cares what we think? You’re probably the biggest band in the world that still makes new music, why not try something different? Try a little less calculation and more a general lack of giving a fuck”. It’s sad to think that the bands with the most power in the industry, are so afraid to use any of it musically, instead channelling it all on political and socio-economic causes (of course this can only be a sad concept coming from a fanatical rock journalist).

I’ll try and be more specific here. Take any modern, stadium-selling-out-in-minutes type group, for the sake of shorthand argument; let’s stick with the aforementioned discussed U2. Take a look at the group’s recent discography, and you’ll see an array of cookie-cutter imitations of previous efforts. That is, except for one. Look hard enough and you’ll find ‘Pop’, their 1997 release that sidestepped their relatively straight-forward anthemic previous work, and instead found the band flirting with rhythm sequencing, tape loops, sampling, and a whole bunch of other garbage that really had no place on a U2 record.

Did the album succeed? Absolutely not, I consider it a colossal blunder. Really though, the hard part is over, you already put this heap of shit on the unsuspecting public, but you know what, it wasn’t an unredeemable heap of shit, because it could have been the ugly, but necessary first step into a more experimental, sonically interesting era of their career. Instead of aggressing toward the backlash, they retreated, and ultimately settled on beginning work on their next “triumphant return to form” album.

It’s a phrase that is used constantly. Rolling Stone has used the saying, or a variation of it, on nearly any boomer generation release I have ever seen, in the most startling case giving Mick Jagger’s ‘Goddess In The Doorway’ an unfathomable five-star rating. Since when did we become a culture to applaud banality and mediocrity? What is there to praise? We see a band with totally bottomless command go out on a limb, fail once, and immediately go back to what has worked in the past. Not only that, but we’re supposed to awkwardly shuffle over to them and thank them for moving away from that stitch in time? No thanks, I’m not the kind of teacher that would give points to a student for writing their name on the test, no matter who the student is or how nice their calligraphy might appear.

U2 isn’t the only one that has done this in recent years. Other examples include Pearl Jam, The Eagles, Metallica, and Rolling Stones, all of which have recently put out releases that were marginal at best, albums that have been almost unanimously praised as a, yup, you guessed it, triumphant return to form! Listen, I get it, why fix something that’s not broken? I will never underestimate the power of nostalgia, especially when it’s held in the hands of intellectually devoid morons, but I think when it comes to a band like The Eagles, or U2, they are in a position to break their system, smash it apart, and see what they could do better. To try something, and then immediately recoil back under the security blanket when it fails just seems so… I don’t know, disproportionate to where they stand in the industry.

Like I said, once all the hyperbole and hype is removed, the return to form records are never very good, and that’s probably because these bands don’t really understand that great albums tend to be time-specific. The most inspirational music is something that comes out and speaks to people, and it resonates because the band successfully transfers a piece of their life into the audio output, and that will always ring true to the listener. To reach back to that time, and try to recreate that special moment, both for you and your fans… just reeks of delirium. It’s like, say you’re on vacation and you meet a bunch of people from your hometown. The combination of a foreign land, cloudless skies full of sunshine, and immense booze consumption all but ensures your experience with your fellow motherland compatriot was a blissful one.

Well try and call them a couple years later, when you’re back in minus-forty degree whether and there isn’t a margarita within a hundred miles, see how well you bond. Recreating the past in the present is not only difficult, it’s basically impossible.

It’s really the same thing here, as some of the best records from a constantly evolving band, wouldn’t have been possible if they didn’t jump in the deep end headfirst with a straight-up terrible one. And when I know it’s part of that bigger picture, I listen to those terrible ones with a newfound sense of astonishment, because it’s at those times, I realize that music at its best, when it’s truly something to marvel at in complete silence, does mimic life through a parallel audio line. The bands who throw out those much-heralded RTFA’s will never understand that, because they’re living in a world that doesn’t extend past those four guys in the band, which is why they’ll always be calling those ex-girlfriends with love in their voice, and familiarity in their hearts.

‘All That You Can’t Leave Behind’ was a perfect album title.

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Video: U2 - ‘Beautiful Day’

What do you think? Should we allow musicians to produce sub-standard efforts and praise them when they “return” to their original sound? What is the solution - bands like Oasis and Travis who continually churn out the same music?